Changing Gears

So, now, I'm Joe Plumber, aka anyone who makes over $250k a year.  I work my ass off.  I've given up the 6-pack, as it puts on too many calories anyway.  My snake is oily; dirty.  I need a bath and I think Hussein Obama is a terrorist.  I refuse to call him by his first name because of his privileged upbringing in such a wealthy country as Indonesia in the 60s/70s.  It was there where he met Bill Ayers while he was blowing shit up in random cities in the US.  While Ayers was blowing shit up in America, he sent telegraphic messages to Hussein Barack while he was studying in a terrorist jihad Catholic School/Madrasa in Indonesia.  At the tender age of eight, Hussein Obama learned how to overthrow the American economic system in the US and how to infiltrate banks in Western Europe.  In a rickshaw, he met Osama Bin Laden and further coerced with him on how to destroy his lunchbox after he ate his sandwich and before other kids could snag his HoHos.  After this discrete meeting Hussein Obama returned to the US to live with liberal Columbia students and practice law at another (god forbid liberal institution) Ivy League School.  The rest is history.........

Song of the Week

I think Wednesdays will be dedicated to a song I have been listening to a lot this week.  So, this weeks song is........ Cigarettes, Wedding Bands by Band of Horses.  This one has hit home to me ever since I first heard it.  The chorus repeats "They lied" and then turns it into a ladidied, lididied repetition.  I guess the song is kind of a fuck you to institutions and family drama.  

So, as you listen to the song, you'll notice that there are some striking lyrical illustrations in the first verse.  A dogwood fence has been destroyed by violence, a drunken brother attempts to intervene in some capacity.  Dogwood is considered to be a strong wood and was actually used in the past to commit violence.  Due to its strength it was used to make daggers, as it wouldn't break as one was stabbing someone.  So, the assumption can be made that whatever broke that fence was some kind of emotional/physical tornado.  

Further, there is the drunken brother.  Images of drunken brothers remind me of weddings, funerals, etc.  Therefore the lie could be a death or a marriage, but having to intervene is ominous.  Finally, one last note, simply based on the first verse, which would support an expensive event (funeral/wedding) is the idea of the working man's wage being pissed away.

Guided by Horses is a force.  They are cinematic in ways.  Most of their lyrics are quite minimalist, like a great Carver story.  Your mind can wander and wonder.

I just bought Deerhoof's new album and have been revisiting Springsteen's Nebraska ( a masterpiece).  Possibly one of these two will make the song of the week next week?

A Conversation With Joe 6-Pack at the Bar in Palinese

Joe: Golly, Ed! I sure had a goshdarn hard day.

Ed The Bartender: Golly, Joe! What the heck happened?

Joe: Well, my Main Street store had so few customers today and yet, I couldn't get one darned thing done because I watching my IRA portfolio just go down the tubes. You betchya it hurt to watch that!

Ed: Gee, well, Joe, have a Budweiser! If it makes you feel any better, I had a blunder of a day, too. Ya better believe it!

Joe: Well, golly gee, what happened to you?

Ed: Hucksters came in here and walked out on a $90 tab. Those knuckleheads really left me in the dark.

Joe: Ooh, that is so, goshdarn awful. This world makes me really mad!

Ed: Gee Whiz, Joe. You are so right. This world can be so darned cruel. You can bet your bottom dollar, I'll try and catch those cronies!

The Cat Analogy

Commanche.  He gets his name.  With a period.  Because he is Commanche.  Commanche is my cat.  I have owned him now for 10 years plus some months.  Commanche was born when Clinton was still president and the country was doing okay.  Commanche can also read my mind.  I am not going to go on some long, droning blah, blah, blah about him.  Yet he holds some random key to the current economic meltdown in the US.  

He got really sick on Sunday, the 14th of September.  He cried and moaned and couldn't pee.  So, off to the vet we go.  We go to the expensive vet in Park Slope.  We have already spent $3000 there on his sister who got really ill and made it.  Barely.  Now she has a growth on her vagina and is incontinent.   Back to Commanche.  He was blocked and couldn't pee, as stated above and he needed some work done on him.  

The first assumption was that he needed a catheter in his little penis to unblock him.  He would have to stay a few nights in the animal hospital.  Most likely this would work itself out and Commanche would walk out of the building in his little bag, in my arms three days later and all would be fine.  He's be in bed with me and purring.  I'd be the happy pet owner with a slightly lighter wallet.  All would be fine and owner/pet relationship would continue harmoniously.  

But it didn't work out that way.

I was denied fucking pet/vet credit.  I guess the industry has gotten that tight in this day and age.  The oddest thing about it though is that you apply for "vet" credit on the same website as you would people credit.  So, it turns into this odd site where you are searching through hospitals, clinics and veterinarians.  So weird.

So, I got denied.  If this cat can't get the surgery he needs he will die.  

Oddly enough, after frantic phone calls with numerous vets, pleading, freaking out on the phone, etc......  They tell me they can "dip into a fund for people like me."  

And this is where the analogy truly begins.  We can always dip into funds.  We are so rich.  That is the bottom line.  I am just a measly teacher, yet there is some fund to dip into somewhere that allows me to continue living an alright life and not worry about some dire shit and a little cat in a country of 300 million people.  

The Mess We're In

Well, well, well, what an eventful 2008 thus far.  I capped off this disastrous financial day by watching Taxi Ride to the Dark Side on HBO tonight.  Whew, I felt a mixture of sickness and awe at what great balls of steel this administration has.  Yeah, yeah, I know it is old hat and there isn't very much left to say about these past eight years, but there is this blatant question of how did we let this happen for so long?

These past eight years have truly, truly been the wild, wild west in this country.  Blatant lawlessness, cover up after cover up, shameless spending and lies that would make a Jim Carey character spit his milk out of his mouth across the room, down the hall and into oblivion.  There was nothing done about these myriad, and repetitive, occurrences and I am numb by the seemingly endless bad news that attaches itself to this administration on a daily basis.  Not only that, but we are truly supporting this broken system via the bailout which Bush seems to have mandated (fearfully, mind you).  Crony upon Crony is laughing out of the closed bank, down the street (Main or Wall, it really doesn't matter) and off to Dubai to live on one of those million dollar islands while millions suffer without homes, cars or jobs.  

It will be so nice to see this go.  It will be even more beautiful to read history books when I am fifty and acknowledge the blindness this entire country has been terrified into living on a day to day to basis.  It is so laughable that Palin, with her "god told me so" ideology would even be considered for another round of a presidency.  Another TKO (Theological Knockout) will come with a mighty punch if some house isn't cleaned up, and I mean soon.  

Last food for thought on this "black" Monday?  Could it be that?  Bush passed some legislation on Sept. 23, 2006 dating back to 9/11 that allowed for complete immunity for his administration to ever be tried for War Crimes.  What could be buried in that enormous document the house didn't pass today?