East of Eden # 2: Mom

Reading East of Eden made me understand death better.  Or, more so it made me remember that death  always rolls around.  We don't want it to ever come, but it does.  So, I'm kind of cleansing myself in a way.  Like East of Eden, I'm going to describe a death.  I'm guessing, like Steinbeck, this was a way to let it go.

This was my experience:

March 2003:

I got a phone call while in Japan.

While in Japan, I was making huge segues in sleeping/fucking this ex-swimsuit model.

The call was from Steve, my sisters's ex-husband Jon, your mom is not doing well.

Swimsuit model and me are now fucking.

Jon:  What do you mean?

Steve: Your mom has pancreatic cancer.

While in Japan, I was making huge segues in sleeping/fucking this ex-swimsuit model.

While in Japan, I was making huge segues in sleeping/fucking this ex-swimsuit model.While in Japan, I was making huge segues in sleeping/fucking this ex-swimsuit model.While in Japan, I was making huge segues in sleeping/fucking this ex-swimsuit model.While in Japan, I was making huge segues in sleeping/fucking this ex-swimsuit model.While in Japan, I was making huge segues in sleeping/fucking this ex-swimsuit model.While in Japan, I was making huge segues in sleeping/fucking this ex-swimsuit model.

That was all I thought about.

April 2003:

I came home.....and planted a bullshit garden of teas in her backyard.  Planted mint, too.  Herbs galore that she would never pick.

June 2003:

So, I made it back, one week before she died.

And this is where it matters: her eyes.  I have never seen anything like it, probably never will.  Her eyes were the bluest of blue, really pure.  When she took that last breath, they turned grey/slate/wide open.